A enticing prison.

Kinda an interesting week I'm having. It started with my mom telling me that I had EFY in the morning. (when I've been moved out for several months now) She had signed me up about a year previous and It was too late to cancel now. However, The first two days have been alright, The people are great and I love my councilors! EFY as a whole, however, has changed quite significantly. It seems they focus less and less on what and how the spirit affects you and more and more on the motions of what finding the spirit used to mean. in other words, they've forgotten the true meaning, and everybody is just bearing their testimony all over the place and calling it good. they tell us to be obedient and to follow without question, but that doesn't fly anywhere......(sorry Obama) I've really tried to keep a positive attitude, giving everybody the benefit of the doubt, but some of the councilors have been really conceited and rude to me and some other boys in my group. It seems that no matter where you go, the stereotype of being a stupid teenager is right behind you. They bring us in and tell us that we are a chosen generation and that we're special and all that jazz, and then they herd us around like cattle and forbid us from asking why. The spirit doesn't reside in a cage, no matter how pretty it looks, or how many colored polo's there are.

     I really do love EFY though, if you can get past that you're being treated like you're 5 again and there is nobody to answer to then it really isn't all that bad. Maybe better for someone a little younger than I am. The girls would be a little more their age and better matched to their maturity level. I'm just trying to comply with the rules the best I can and not make too much sense out of the chaos that they write off as organization. I realize that I'm being REALLY negative here, and I'm actually not trying to be. let me just reiterate the fact that I LOVE EFY.....I really do. sometimes I just get caught up in my own little world.

I'm trying out for the variety show with my sister Karly. We will be singing "What are you looking for" by the Sick Puppies. I will be trying out also on my own with A song that I wrote, but I guess all life has to stop by 10:30. so I've got to run!

I'll update when I can.

Friendly Fire and some other thoughts.

Do you ever have those days when everybody seems to be pointing their gun at everyone else, and you all won't stop shooting at eachother even though its not solving anything? That was a day like today in my house. Everyone having so many problems and all sorts of contention. Now we're all sitting in our rooms feauding and not sleeping like we should be. I've got tests tomorrow and work and 1000 other things I need to get done, but just like companies have to reset the timer after an accident. I've got to reset my timer and try to tackle life again.

It's like we're climbing a mountain and we dont find another holding point. Sometimes we fall and we have to do a little work to get back where we are. We can be discouraged by the fall and just hang there until we are ready, but eventually we will make it to the next checkpoint. So we can fall again.

Endings are happy, so if you're not happy dont think of it as the end. Think of it as the begining and you're going to have a hard time getting there.

Its good to be back writing. Maybe i'll keep the fire alive and write a few posts, but probably not.

anyway, I'm tired, and yes, I realize nobody reads these things.

Goodnight.